


A Kirk Sandwich

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek Incandescent Hearts [7]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Humor, Blow Job Implied, Established Relationship, Ethics, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Humor, Incandescent Hearts (Star Trek Series), Kirk Gets In On The Action, M/M, Morals, Relationship Issues, Star Trek Humor, eminent threesome, spones - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:55:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10016516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: Jim Kirk gets in over his head when McCoy and Spock seek his advice on how to add more pizzazz to their love life.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [susumiya08](https://archiveofourown.org/users/susumiya08/gifts).



> This fic was inspired while I was answering a comment from susumiya08 who had read "Galahad of the Galaxy." It got me to thinking, and this is the result. Many thanks, susumiya08! I wouldn't have come up with this fic, otherwise.
> 
>  
> 
>  

“I don’t know, guys. I don’t think this sounds like a very good idea to me,” Jim Kirk said as he looked across his desk at his two best friends.

“Come on, Jim,” Leonard McCoy cajoled as he extended a hand as a plea for understanding. “Who better to ask about putting the spark back into a relationship than a king of romance like you?”

Kirk tried to take that compliment graciously, but it was hard to do. It is difficult to downplay an obvious truth, Kirk thought. “Well, I want to thank you for the belief in my romantic prowess. But I assure you that a lot of what you’ve heard is just legends and myths that have built up already about my abilities and my talents and--” He had to grin as he looked unseeing into middle space. “--my assets.”

“All legends and myths are built on some truth somewhere along the line,” McCoy argued. “Some of what they say about you has to be true. Don‘t be modest or shy now.”

Jim Kirk tried graciously to accept McCoy’s flattering accolades. “Well, be that as it may--” He waved his hand nonchalantly in the air. “Some of it has assumed myth proportions as time has gone on. It seems to have grown with its own serendipitous impetus.”

McCoy turned to Spock. “Jim meant that the stories about his sexual adventures have spread along with their own happy lives.”

“Doctor, I quite understood what Jim was saying. He was not using any idiomatic expression the type of which you are so fond.”

“Still, guys, it’s difficult to live up to all that’s attributed to me. It just ain’t true, son.”

McCoy turned to Spock. “Now, Jim put that in the vernacular. It‘s a colloquialism.”

“Still not an idiom, Doctor.”

“Guys,” Kirk protested. “A lot out there about me is incorrect!”

“And I’m certain that Paul Bunyon was actually five foot nine with shoulder width and I.Q. to match,” McCoy said. “Bunyon was the terror of the logging camps because he was continually trying to prove he was SEVEN foot nine, despite what the eyesight of the other loggers told them. And Babe was actually an albino ox with poor circulation so it looked like it had turned blue. Destiny finds some people and creatures, whether they want to be found or not. So it was with Paul Bunyon and Babe. And the rest is history, as they say.”

“You’re certainly colorful this morning, Bones. Why don’t you just try some of that malarkey on Spock? Why, you two could talk for hours about that topic alone!”

McCoy glared, and Kirk didn’t know if it was directed toward Kirk for clutching at conversational straws to get rid of his visitors or at the clueless looking Vulcan sitting beside McCoy.

“Are you out of your corn loving mind, Jim?!” He cooled. “If I had said that to Spock, I’d have to explain what I was meaning! Then I’d have to explain the explanation!”

“Actually, Doctor, I disagree,” Spock said haughtily. “I understood your statement quite readily. There was not one idiom in it. If you spoke thusly all of the time, we would have no trouble understanding each other.”

“Correction!” McCoy said hotly. “You might understand me! But I still wouldn’t understand what the hell you were talking about!”

Kirk put up his hand for silence. “Gentlemen! Gentlemen! I believe that we’ve gotten off topic.”

“That’s easy to do with an aggravating Vulcan in the room!” McCoy grumbled.

Spock looked insulted. “Doctor, I do believe that I am sitting here quietly and being as attentive as the occasion warrants. It is not my fault that you choose to cause confusion by a poor choice of words and ideas with which to state our dilemma.”

“Well, listen up, Vulcan! It’s about to get a lot more denser!”

“Doctor,” Spock admonished. “Say either denser or more dense. Do not use both. I do not know if usage of a double in this instance would incur a cancellation of terms and cause the exact opposite meaning to be true as in the case of a double negative giving a statement a true connotation instead of the intended negative meaning or not, but it certainly is redundant and may, in fact, cause an inconsiderable amount of confusion on its own accord.”

“And don’t look now, Vulcan,” McCoy continued to grumble. “But you just created one helluva run-on sentence, and, the last I heard, that’s a big no-no in grammatical circles!”

Spock blinked, which for him was a sign of astonishment. “Perhaps I have.”

McCoy shifted in his chair. “No ‘perhaps’ about it, Vulcan! You goofed!”

Kirk leaned back. “Gentlemen, this isn’t getting us anywhere.” Kirk thought of the reports he should be reviewing, or the suntan he could be getting as he dozed in the sauna, or even of “interviewing” the cute new redhead in Engineering. Instead, he was hearing the love problems of two lovers who were old enough to know better and who were probably just a little bored with each other. “Now, the way I see it, you’ve been getting along just fine with your relationship. Why don‘t you just be happy with each other? Just keep on doing what you’ve been doing,” he said, hoping to ease them out the door. Any outside help for them would probably give the helper the same result as trying to sweep the incoming tide back into the ocean.

McCoy frowned and Spock looked bored. At least that was more reaction from the Vulcan than just no commitment.

Kirk figured that he was on a roll. “Maybe you can put a little romance back into your evenings. There’s little things you could do for each other. Hidden notes. Silly presents. Gushy love songs. Perfume on the sheets. Little things mean a lot.” Even as he said it, he found it difficult to accept. If he couldn’t, how could he expect them to? And as he studied them, he saw little hope presenting itself. McCoy’s antagonism and Spock’s indifference certainly wouldn‘t promote romance. He thought of silk purses and pigs’ ears. You gotta have something to work with. And he saw very little raw material here.

Kirk frowned and knew he was going to hate having said anything. “I, ah, see what you mean. You do need help.”

“Finally!” Just by the smug set of his shoulders, Kirk surmised that McCoy had won that argument.

“Tell you what,” Kirk conceded. “I’ll show you by example what I mean by the way you should be romancing each other.”

McCoy’s eyes snapped with interest. “That would be great! Start with Spock. He needs the most coaching. That would probably clear things right up, and I wouldn‘t need any help.”

Spock glared at McCoy.

Kirk ignored the sparks flying out of Spock’s dark eyes. They weren’t intended for him. He was happy that they weren’t.

Kirk took a deep breath. “Mr. Spock, would you accompany me at dinner this evening here in my quarters?”

Spock didn‘t know quite what to say. “Would Dr. McCoy also be present?”

“Oh, no, this will be just you and me.” He leaned forward with a flirty smile. “The lights will be dim. The food will be perfect. The company and conversation will be superb and brilliant.”

Spock didn’t know quite what to say until he glanced at McCoy and saw a slight look of hesitancy on McCoy’s face. McCoy was unsure. Good. “I will be honored, Captain,” Spock said magnanimously. “Shall we say sevenish?”

Kirk’s eyes warmed with future promises. “We shall, Mr. Spock.”

 

It happened just as Kirk had predicted it would. The lights were dim. The food was perfect. The company and conversation were superb and brilliant. But what also happened was something that Kirk had not predicted. Somehow he and Spock wound up on the floor, in a clinch, naked, with dress uniforms scattered all over, and the room in a ghastly disarray.

“Captain, the broccoli casserole--” Spock protested as their bodies lay writhing and wrestling together on the cluttered carpeting.

“Forget it!” Kirk bellowed and tossed aside a plate that had been under his back. Much better. “No time to think about the casserole now! It’s ruined anyway!”

“I am not concerned, hmm, do that again, will you please, with the viability of the casserole.”

There were times when Kirk could understand McCoy’s frustration with the nitpicking Vulcan, and this was one of them. 

“This is nice for me. Let me show you." Kirk squirmed on top of Spock’s nakedness and felt the alien’s body respond. Even Kirk could feel the electrical charge surge through Spock.

Kirk heard Spock gasp. Good, he was making the Vulcan forget about casseroles.

Not so.

"Please, Captain, the casserole--"

Kirk's blue eyes snapped. He was not in the mood for details. "What about that damn casserole is concerning you so much?!”

“It appears that I am lying in it, and I would like to move, if that is possible. If not, I will try to put my mind above it although it does feel rather slimy under me.”

“Don't want you distracted.” He grinned. “Wanna roll with me?”

“Pick a direction, Captain. As long as it is not on the mousse.”

“Right. Here we go!” They rolled, and something fell to the floor with a crash.

“What was that, Captain?”

Kirk looked up. “It used to be an antique vase from Persia.” He looked back at Spock. “Nothing of consequence now. Just so much shattered pieces of clay, while you, you--”

“Another shattered piece of clay?” Spock asked with a wise grin.

“No time for philosophy!” he proclaimed as his hands got busy again.

“How succinct, Captain.” Spock’s eyes dilated. “And how stimulating.”

“Are you a top or a bottom?” Kirk gasped as he bit Spock’s shoulder.

“I can be either,” Spock gasped back as his searching hand stroked interesting features of Kirk’s nether regions. He lathered Kirk‘s neck with his raspy tongue.

“That’s good, Spock. Because I’m a bottom. And if we both were bottoms, this was going to be a pretty short session.”

“There is no way that this will be a short session, Captain,” Spock assured him with authority.

“Oh. That’s good to know. Uh! Wow! Wanna do that again? Just like you--”

“Like that, Captain?” Spock said with a smile. He was in command of the situation now. He knew what he did well. He could make McCoy utter the same kind of noises with that movement. There were other noises McCoy made. He wondered if Kirk could be called upon to duplicate those noises.

“Yeah! Uh! Boy! Wow! What‘s that, Spock? Something new?”

“And I have a special twist to that technique, Captain.”

“Really? How-- Spock! Oh! Holy! Sh-h-h-t!”

Spock grin was more of a triumph than a lover’s stroke. “I love it when you Earthlings call on your gods.”

“You call on your gods, I’ll call on mine! Just do that again!”

Just like McCoy, Spock thought. Same noises. Same demands. “Gladly, Captain. But this time, hold your breath.”

“Why would I-- A-g-g-g!”

“You did not hold your breath as I advised, Captain.”

“How in the hell was I sup--Ooomph!”

 

 

“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” Kirk said with regret as he lay in Spock’s arms later, much later. 

“I believe not, either, Captain,” Spock said as he pressed a soft kiss to Kirk‘s temple.

Kirk grinned up at him. “I think that under the circumstances, you can call me ‘Jim.’”

“Of course, Captain. Your title just slipped out.”

Kirk decided to drop it. “I don’t think this is the idea that you and McCoy had in mind when you asked for my advice. I doubt if it was intended that you and I should go to bed together. That we should sleep together. Or whatever that was.”

“I think that under the circumstances, either statement would be quaint and certainly not true. We neither slept, nor were we in bed.”

Kirk grinned. “Whose idea was it anyway that we just pile down here on the floor when there was a nice, comfy bed for our use not ten feet away?” He licked the inside of Spock’s wrist and used his tongue to feel the Vulcan’s pulse fluttering there. Nice and steady, just like everything Spock did. Kirk could certainly testify to that.

“I believe that we were unable to make it any further across the room. It appears that urgency and gravity proved to be our undoing.” His lips found Kirk’s neck and began to nuzzle it with a little more intensity.

“We still could go over there now and give our weary bodies some comfort,” Kirk suggested as he tried to keep his breaths even and slow despite what Spock was doing to his neck to give him such wonderful sensations.

“I know,” Spock murmured as his lips found Kirk’s mouth and proceeded to work on it for awhile. Then he went down to that delicious neck again and smiled when he heard Kirk gasp in pleasure.

“Ah,” Kirk managed as Spock’s tongue wallowed the sensitive hollow behind one of Kirk’s ears and the tender neck flesh just below it. “The bed is still just ten feet away. We could make it over there real easy.”

“Still no time,” Spock declared as he rolled Kirk onto his stomach.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this.” Kirk felt his hams being roughly pulled apart. He gasped, “Again.”

“Shut up, Jim.”

It was lucky, indeed, for Jim Kirk that Spock had taken time to lube up.

“Spock! Not so rough!” 

“You like it rough, Kirk!”

Kirk grimaced. The Vulcan was right.

“Again?!" Kirk exclaimed when he felt cool air touching warm flesh, flesh that generally doesn’t feel cool air. "Oh, shit!”

“Not now,” Spock ordered. “No time.”

Kirk almost laughed about the literal Vulcan‘s lack of understanding vernacular English. No wonder McCoy got frustrated with Spock’s misunderstanding and trying to explain.

“Feel me, Earthling!”

Oh, hell, the literal Vulcan was slipping. Shouldn’t he have said something to the effect that Kirk should feel him entering Kirk? Surely, Spock didn’t mean for Kirk to touch him, not when Kirk’s hands were clear over here and Spock was clear back there behind Kirk.

And then everything became moot, except for the entering. And the sinking inside. And that was just, just.

Delicious!

Oh, hell……

Leonard, who?

 

“No, Spock, we shouldn’t have done that, either. Wait! You stay on that side of the room! And for heaven’s sake, stay dressed!” Kirk looked away and tried not to think of how nice that uniform looked on Spock. But if the designers thought it would hide Spock’s assets from Kirk’s eyes and especially from his imagination, they were sadly mistaken. Kirk knew where everything went now, and everything was nicely in place.

“That’s good. Just, ah, stay over there. In the shadows.”

The Vulcan looked disgruntled, but obeyed. “Now what, Captain?”

“Good. That’s good. Call me Captain. That will help.” Baby steps, but anything was going to help at this stage. “I, ah, think that under the circumstance that we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

Spock looked stunned. “But, Captain, we are on the Enterprise. We work the same shift. This is a large ship, that is true. But it can get to be quite tiny when one is trying to avoid someone. I know. Dr. McCoy and I have discovered that on certain occasions.”

“I meant,” Kirk started and suddenly felt a lot of empathy for Leonard McCoy. “We should not engage in intimacies with each other. Because, you know, McCoy is our friend and all. He trusts us. I am his friend. Supposedly. And you, well, you two are, ah, lovers.” Kirk hadn’t expected that stab when he realized that, and he didn’t know if it was because of friendship challenged or angst over giving up intimacies with Spock.

“And we betrayed his trust?”

“You bet your sweet ass we did, Spock! We shot it all to hell!”

 

“Bones, I have to tell you that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for something to happen between Spock and me. It just did.” He grimaced. “And the bad thing is it could happen again, real easy. I apologize, ahead of time, if it does. And what happened before. It kinda got out of my control.” 

“How do you mean, it got out of your control?! Were you drinking that heavily?!” McCoy frowned. “Did Spock rape you?!“

“No, but in a way it would’ve been better if it had been rape. Then our hearts wouldn’t have been involved.” Kirk looked sad. "And our hearts, I’m sorry to say, were definitely involved.”

“What happened?” McCoy asked in ashen tones.

Kirk breathed deeply. “We were eating. I was talking various romantic techniques, little loving gestures that he could use with you. I took his hand. I looked into his eyes. I continued to talk. I continued to play with his hand. I swear I forgot what that could do to him. Or I misremembered.” He frowned. “Or I decided to ignore it. I don’t know for sure. I just know one moment we were holding hands and talking low.“ He shrugged. “And the next moment the table was overturned and we were trying to feel things through our clothes.” He shrugged again. “So we got rid of the clothes that were being so pesky. And, ah, you can probably figure out the rest of what happened. I am deeply, deeply sorry. I know I have violated the trust between us. I cannot begin to express the shame I feel for how I betrayed you.” He breathed deeply again. “There. I said it. I feel better.”

McCoy frowned. “But it doesn’t dismiss what happened.”

“I know, but--”

“And I know that you’re not the one I should be confronting. You and I aren’t in a relationship! The big green alien and I are!”

“Yeah, but he isn’t the easiest one to talk to.”

“You’re just finding that out?!”

“I’ve gotten a whole new appreciation for your tolerance and objectivity. It’s a wonder you haven’t killed him before this.”

“A kid you can make mind,” McCoy muttered. “A kid you can tell to shut up and hope that they develop understanding and innuendo by listening to others use the language. But Spock has some sort of block. He’s been around us for a long time, but he still is clueless as to what we’re talking about a whole lot of the time.”

“And have you ever noticed that when you know he is confused and you should not be using idioms, that’s when you litter every sentence with them? As if we experience some sort of perverse glee in stumping the hell out of Spock just to see that blank look on his face?”

“Maybe I do that and didn’t realize it,” McCoy admitted in awe.

“Look. I’m sorry about what happened with Spock and me. I lost the thread of what you originally asked me to do. Maybe I can get back on track if you and I talk about relationship issues together. Wanna have dinner with me in my quarters tonight?”

“Sounds like a plan. Maybe you and I can be more objective. After all, we talk the same language. And we sure as hell don‘t get steamed up when somebody simply holds our hands.”

 

Jim Kirk grimaced, rubbed his forehead, rolled over in bed, stared at a naked McCoy lying beside him, and rolled onto his back. “Oh, hell!” he addressed the ceiling. “What the hell are you doing here, Bones?! We talk the same language, remember? We aren‘t supposed to get steamed up when somebody simply holds our hands.”

“We didn’t talk. We didn’t hold hands,” McCoy replied with his eyes still shut. He had awakened when Kirk began stirring. “And nothing we did was simple.”

“Holy shit! You were supposed to restrain yourself.”

“I generally get a better response than that the next morning,” McCoy objected.

“You don’t understand. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“It happened.” McCoy grinned shyly. “Twice.”

Kirk groaned. “Shit!” he muttered.

“In fact your asshole should be feeling pretty contented. I gave it quite a workout. No thanks needed, by the way. It was my pleasure.” 

“My asshole is feeling like a betrayer, like the rest of me,” Kirk muttered.

“You should be taken care of for, say, a few days. Maybe even a week. I do satisfactory work. My clients never complain.”

Kirk rolled over and looked at his longtime friend and suddenly lover. “I’m not complaining about your performance. I’m complaining about your ethics. And mine.”

“You’re the ethical one around here, remember? I’m the emotional one. Just doing what I gotta do, little drama queen that I am.” 

“And Spock is the logical one.“ Kirk frowned. “And the one we just betrayed. Especially you.”

“The last I heard, he did it first!”

“That’s a helluva competition to be in.” Kirk frowned in thought. “Aren’t we getting away from your original agenda? You wanted to put more pizzazz in your love life with the Vulcan, remember? All I can see we did was to start something with each other.”

“He started it first!”

“Are you using me to get back at him?”

“No!” McCoy thought. “Maybe.” Then he looked at that marvelous, cuddly, NAKED Jim Kirk lying so irresistibly close. He reached out and touched that marvelous, cuddly, NAKED Jim Kirk. “No,” he said softly. “I did it to get to you.”

“Bones. You can’t mean that. You don't have something for me.“

“Oh, yes, I do! You're awfully pretty to look at! I appreciate the hell out of you! You‘re a helluva hunk, James T. Kirk!“

“I don’t mean physically wrong. I meant morally wrong.“

“You’re the ethical one around here, remember?“ McCoy said as he ran his hands over Kirk’s arms and chest in a way that made Kirk swallow hard.

“We still can’t do this. Not again!”

“Shh. I know,” McCoy said as he kissed Kirk’s forehead. He squeezed Kirk’s upper arm before moving his hand to Kirk’s back to pull him closer.

“We mustn’t,” Kirk begged as he reached out to touch McCoy. He liked what he touched, whatever in the hell it was. It just felt naked, and that was enough information for Kirk. He liked naked. Naked was nice. It was so friendly.

“No, we mustn’t,” McCoy agreed as his lips buried themselves in Kirk’s soft neck.

“Bones. Please,” Kirk begged as his eyelids fluttered uncontrollably.

“I won’t make you beg for it, Jim. It‘ll be heading your way any moment now.”

“That’s not what I meant. I don‘t want to hurt--”

“Shh. Daddy will make it feel all better in a moment.”

Kirk whimpered.

“Have I ever told you that I’m real happy that you’re a bottom?” McCoy murmured as his mouth worried an erect nipple on Kirk‘s chest.

Kirk swallowed hard as sweat broke out on his forehead. “Ah--”

And then McCoy slammed Kirk’s face into the pillow. And then the rest of Jim Kirk followed as if he could always flip his body in midair.

Then McCoy started in on Kirk’s body in earnest.

Oh, shit, Kirk thought. Forget ethics. Forget Spock. Forget friendship. Forget everything except McCoy’s hands and McCoy’s fingers and McCoy’s--

Aggghhh!

At least they were on the bed, Kirk thought. Then everything became a reddish blur, and Jim Kirk's thought processes ceased to exist.

Hours later, Kirk had gotten some of his treasured ethics and Iowa determination back.

"But it's four o'clock in the morning!"

"I don't care what time it is!" Jim Kirk declared. "Out!"

"You know, you don't look very persuasive with your hair all disarrayed like that, and your lips trembling like you're going to start crying at any moment, and your hand flung out like you're trying to get rid of the black-hearted cad that took your virginity. I expect next you'll start using expressions like egads and me thinks and be gone."

"I don't care what your impression of me is, just leave!"

"You know, it doesn't add much to your authority to be standing there with nothing else on but your shirt tied around your waist."

"It was the only thing that was still intact. And I could find back."

"Well, if you were intending that it hide your assets, it isn't working. Unless you're wanting me not to see the side of your right hip, I have to inform you that Holy Shrine Number One is clearly visible to me. And I expect if you turned around, the location of Holy Shrine Number Two would come into view. And by the way you're acting, I expect you don't want me to even catch a glimpse of that area."

"Oh." Kirk looked down, then moved his scant clothing around. "Better?"

"If you're going to wait tables. And, if you intend not to turn your back on me."

"Not for a long time to come," Kirk muttered.

"You know, you don't have to act so Victorian on me. I have seen features like yours before. I've even seen yours before. I am a doctor, you know. Your personal doctor."

"That was no doctor giving me a routine physical awhile ago."

"I'd hope not! That was just one horny guy inspired by a beautiful piece of nature and cross breeding," McCoy said with glee on his face.

"I think that you and the Vulcan both have serious hangups with sex."

"This coming from Jim Kirk?!"

"Just calls them as I sees them," Kirk muttered.

"Speaking of Spock and his sexual hangups, I expect you've been going through your uniform allotment something fierce. The quartermaster will be wondering what you been up to. How many uniforms have been torn off you here lately, anyway?"

"I think I give the quartermaster nightmares," he muttered again. Then he tried to give McCoy his best glare. "So, go on, Bones. It's time for you to leave."

"Come on, Jim! It's only for a few more hours. The bed's all warm. I'll be a good boy. We'll get a good night's sleep."

"That's what I fell for two hours ago! None of it happened the way you said it would. What is it with you, anyway? I know that Spock doesn't need much sleep, but it looks like you'd run down eventually. Do you need sex every two hours?"

"Generally not." McCoy grinned sheepishly. "I guess you just inspire me." He looked Kirk up and down. "Oh, yeah. I feel like I'm getting inspired again, Captain."

"Go take a cold shower," Kirk muttered. "That's what I intend doing."

"Aha! So you are in the mood again! Maybe we can take a WARM shower together!"

"May I remind you that my suite mate, the guy I share a bathroom with, the guy with Vulcan hearing so finely turned that he could be standing on Mercury and hear a mouse fart on Jupiter, is our friend and your sometime lover, Mr. Spock? And he's right on the other side of the bathroom door!"

"And may I remind you that he knows that I am on a fact finding mission?"

"And do you believe that he has long ago realized that your fact finding mission has had the same bawdy outcome as his fact finding mission?"

McCoy grimaced. "Probably."

"I think you've gotten a little sidetracked from your original plan. Are you even sure you know what your original intention was?" He looked at McCoy with a serious expression on his face. "Do you think that you and Spock might just be at a split in the road?"

"I don't know, Jim, but I guess I better be finding out. Huh?"

"I think you're right," Kirk answered in the same soft voice.

"Good night, Jim," McCoy murmured as he walked out the door.

"Good night," Kirk answered absently back.

Neither one of them needed a cold shower after that, and neither one of them slept.

 

So much for Kirk trying to talk to his friends. All they seemed to have on their minds was sex, sex, sex. And for once, that topic wasn’t uppermost on Kirk’s mind. He feared for his friendship with both of them and for the friendship between the other two. 

 

Kirk wasn’t the only one who feared for the relationship between the other two.

“Spock, I’m sorry. I guess it was a bad idea for us to try to spice up our sex life.“

“It was a good idea, Doctor. Perhaps it just took a wrong path.“

“You could say that again! I should have listened to Jim, and just tried to put a little romance back into the relationship between you and me. I didn’t intend to put Jim between you and me.“

“Jim will always be between us. He is our Captain and dear friend.”

“I didn’t mean--”

“I recently felt pleasure with Jim’s body.”

McCoy flinched. “I know. So did I.”

“Is that a good thing? Or a bad thing?”

McCoy shook his head. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.”

“Have you grown tired of me, Leonard? Is that why you wanted to put a spark into our lives? Have we grown complacent?”

“Oh, I hope not,” McCoy whispered, but then a small doubt began to plague him. What had been his real motive? “Maybe I just wanted to shake us up a little.”

“I believe that you have managed to do that.” Spock’s eyes hardened. “And maybe more.”

McCoy hated to see that look in Spock’s eyes. He knew what the Vulcan was thinking. Disappointed so many times by love, and now disappointed again.

McCoy would hurt so much to lose Spock. But he hated worse what a split would do to Spock. McCoy decided that must mean that he really did love the Vulcan. McCoy was more concerned about Spock than himself.

But, oh, he would ache! He was beginning to feel the hurt already.

McCoy felt tears stinging at his eyes. He would not cry! He would not cry! Spock would think it was a sign of weakness. “I wasn’t trying to break up with you, even if that‘s what you‘re thinking. All I ever wanted was to be with you. I thought that Jim could give us helpful advice, not have affairs with both of us. I just thought that we needed a little boost, some ‘us’ time.”

“People generally do that sort of thing differently, I am led to understand. They go on fishing trips to the Adirondacks together. Take weekend couple retreats. Read the same books and discuss them. Join a line dancing group. Take bubble baths together. I do not know why your solution was to get Jim’s advice.”

“Who else?! He’s sex on the hoof!”

Spock turned aside. “Perhaps that was the problem. Perhaps someone who does not think with his penis would have been a better choice to offer relationship advice.”

“And you think that the traditional ones could?! What in the hell would a priest know about alien sex?! Or an old maid school teacher in Providence, Rhode Island?! No, we had to consult someone for whom sex is as essential as breathing and eating! And make it the same way for us.” He pursed his lips. “It is true that we had grown complacent, Spock.” The tears were so close now. If they started, he doubted he could stop them. Or would want to stop them. “We’re too trusting. Too safe. Too sure of each other. We needed to shake things up.”

“That I believe we got done. To the extent of involving our best friend in a moral dilemma. He is cautious now about being around either one of us.” Spock frowned. “I have noted that he does not even turn his back on me in fear that I will misread his intentions and become excited about what he could potentially be offering me. And he certainly won’t bend over in my presence. The other day, he dropped something and did a frontal squat while forcing my eyes to focus on his the whole time he performed the maneuver. I understood what was happening and why, but I believe that it was quite puzzling for Sulu and Chekov. They looked at him as if the only things lacking were his frilly tutu and sparkling tiara. I do not want Jim to feel bad anymore.”

All that Spock was saying was adding up to one thing to McCoy, and it saddened him. “I’m losing you, aren’t I?” McCoy asked and could feel the tears running. He felt no shame, no anger, only regret. The presence of the tears did not concern him anymore.

“I did not say that.”

“You did not have to.”

Spock frowned. “You are weeping?”

“I can’t help it. Earthlings do that when they are sad. And I am sad.”

Spock touched the tears. “I do not wish you to weep.”

“I don’t wish to weep, either. But I can’t help it.” McCoy lowered his head. “I’m thinking of the loneliness ahead of me when you, you--” He could not continue.

Spock bent to see McCoy’s eyes but couldn’t because of McCoy’s lowered head. “What will it take for you to believe that I wish to be with you?”

McCoy shook his head. Spock followed the head and finally succeeded in stopping the moving mouth with his own mouth. The heads came up together, and the kiss continued. Then McCoy burst into great heaving sobs, broke the kiss, and buried his face in Spock’s chest. His clawing hands twisted the shoulders of Spock’s uniform top.

“That is why I will never leave you, Leonard. I like to lie with you. The spark is still there. It never left. It always will be there.”

A shudder convulsed McCoy’s body.

“I like to dine with you, Leonard, to talk with you, to share a sunset with you, to just sit quietly with you. Maybe it is no longer exciting, but it is dependable. I know that you will be here when no else will be. I will never be lonely with you in my life. Why would I ever want to give that up?”

McCoy brought his head up. Snot and tears were running down his face. He didn't care. “Because the dumb jackass in the relationship with you won’t leave well enough alone?!”

Spock smiled wisely. “Well, I believe that the dumb jackass in my life has learned his lesson. And so have I. Nothing must threaten us again, Leonard. Not even our mutual love for Jim Kirk.”

McCoy wiped the back of his hand across his messy face. “How did you get to be so wise?”

“From the man whose body fits in my arms so well at night.”

McCoy stared at Spock.

“And always will,” Spock finished softly. "I do not want him to ever be anywhere else."

Leonard McCoy’s face contorted with an ugliness that nearly frightened Spock.

Then McCoy’s mouth dropped open, and great heaving sobs began to shake him.

Neither one of them had ever realized that a grown man could bawl that hard for so long. He nearly shrunk the Vulcan’s shirt. Neither of them noticed. Neither of them pulled away. Neither of them wanted to.

 

So McCoy and Spock were back together, and Kirk was alone again. He really hadn’t minded it before, but after the brief flings with both of them, he realized how much he was missing a physical relationship with someone.

 

“I think that the kid is lonesome, Spock,” McCoy said as he leaned comfortably back in Spock’s arms. Kirk had been right, after all. Add a little romance, a little cuddling, and a healthy sex life would result. It certainly had resulted for McCoy and Spock. McCoy had no complaints now, and he thought that Spock was more contented. Not that the Vulcan would ever come out and say anything. Oh, no, not that one! But his inscrutable smile had deepened, and the depths of his eyes looked bottomless now.

“Of course, he is lonesome, Leonard. He has no one.”

“I wish there was a way to include him, you know, with us.”

“That is one reason that you fascinate me, Leonard. You are so concerned about other people. Especially Jim.”

“Jim is more than just other people. I love him. And I know that in your own convoluted way that you love him, too.” He looked up into the Vulcan’s eyes. “Just as I know that you love me.”

Spock opened his mouth to say something, but McCoy spoke first. “I know, before you say it. You don’t admit to things like that.” Then he gave Spock a tender smile and cupped his cheek with the palm of his hand. “But I know you do. I know it’s there for me.” His eyes flicked over the face of his Vulcan. “And I know that it’s true.”

“Believe what you will, Earthling,” Spock said with a sigh and turned his face aside.

“Spock,” McCoy said softly. “Look at me, Spock.”

Reluctantly, Spock turned his eyes back to McCoy.

“Kiss me, Spock.”

Spock complied, then McCoy settled happily back into Spock’s arms.

It took a few minutes, but Spock’s curiosity finally got the better of him. “Why are you so happy, Earthling?” 

“I just got my proof.”

“Your proof of what?”

“That you love me.”

Spock tensed.

McCoy glanced back into Spock’s face. “That kiss. You can’t fake that.”

“I am an excellent actor,” Spock said smugly.

McCoy settled back into Spock’s arms. “Yeah, yeah, sure.” McCoy was quiet in his contentment for a few minutes. “I just wish that we could include Jim, somehow.”

“Maybe we could do a threesome with him.”

McCoy pulled out of Spock’s arms and looked back at him wildly. “Where did that come from?!”

“He does like to experiment.”

“Sure! With two whores in a cat house! But we’re a couple of guys! And his best friends, to boot!”

“No need to shout, Leonard. I did not suddenly go deaf. But, yes, he, and us.”

McCoy really tensed. “He would do that sort of thing?!”

“It would not hurt to ask.”

“And how do you go about asking that sort of thing? Hey, Jim, wanna screw with my bestie and me?!”

“It never hurts to ask, Leonard.”

“Hey, wait a minute!” McCoy said with suspicion. “You know something more here than I do. Give, Vulcan!”

“Well, it is not with the threesome so much as with the logistics.”

“Still not explaining, Vulcan!”

“I would like for both of us to take him at the same time. That way, he would be the filling for a Kirk sandwich.”

McCoy frowned. “But the only way we could do that is if--” His startled eyes swung up to Spock’s. “Are you saying that, that Jim, that Jim would, ah--”

“Yes, Leonard, I believe that Jim would take one of us orally.”

“You, you, what?! How would you know something like that?! Not unless-- Hey, wait! Just what all did you and Kirk do, anyway?!”

“Do not be suspicious, Leonard. Jim instigated it. I believe that he was responding to the authority in my voice. It reminded him of Khan Noonien Singh, and Jim responded by treating me as he had learned to do with Khan.”

“By taking you in his, ah--” McCoy felt the sweat pop out on his forehead. “--mouth.”

“That is correct. I was quite startled at first.”

“I can imagine,” McCoy muttered as he wiped sweat off his forehead.

“Yes, I found it be quite satisfactory, however. In fact, I grew to like it very much.”

“Grew to like! How often did you and Kirk engage in these lollipop licking sessions?!”

Spock gave him a hard look. “Enough.” He turned aside. “And that is all that I am saying on the subject.”

“Alright. Don’t get all pissy on me. What happened between you two is your own business.”

Spock turned back, but he was still a little miffed. “Thank you.” He studied McCoy a moment. “And, Leonard, if there is truly love between us, nothing that we do with Jim could ever jeopardize that bond.”

“Well, that’s true, I suppose,” McCoy said thoughtfully. His eyes swung up again with a startled look. “You love me! You just said it!”

“Oh, Leonard, you Earthlings are so needy.”

“And you Vulcans are so damn pissy,” Leonard said as he sighed in contentment and scooted into a comfortable position again in the arms of his Vulcan.

 

“McCoy to Captain Kirk.”

“Captain Kirk here.”

“Captain Kirk, your presence is requested in my quarters.”

Oh, hell, another screwing match with McCoy? Kirk frowned. How would that help with their problem with Spock? It would just delay matters and cause more angst.

“Unless it is an emergency, Dr. McCoy, I cannot leave the bridge. I am on duty.”

“Captain,” Spock said.

"Oh, hi, Spock. You and Dr. McCoy are together?" Imagine that, Kirk thought.

"Yes, Captain, we are. And there is an urgent matter that Dr. McCoy and I wish to discuss with you. We think that you will find it to be very, ah, 'uplifting.'”

Kirk could hear the quotation marks around the word 'uplifting'. Not only that, there seemed to be a warmth to Spock’s voice, almost a gaiety that sounded strange and somehow exciting.

Kirk felt his nether regions stir with interest.

What the hell?!

Why not?!

“I’ll be right there, gentlemen!” he barked with glee as he jumped out of his chair and sprinted for the turbo lift.

“Mr. Scott, you have the conn! Something's come up!”

Two somethings, to be exact!

Ooops! he thought with a grin.

Make that three!

**Author's Note:**

> I had planned to call this fic "Little Things Mean A Lot" because Kirk quotes the song title. Then I wrote about the Kirk sandwich near the end of the story, and I knew that I had to change my title.  
> I own nothing dealing with Star Trek, including story lines and/or characters.


End file.
